GOAT HEAD SOUP

I woke up in the darkest hour of the night shivering so violently the bedsprings sounded like they were squeaking out the Hallelujah chorus. But I was in Kenya, Africa just south of the equator. The temperature outside sat at about seventy-five degrees everyday. All week I have slept in a tee shirt and shorts with just a sheet for a cover. But tonight I’m groping for the wool blanket and coverlet I’ve thrown over to the other side of the bed. Why was I suddenly so cold?

I also noticed I was covered in sweat. Did I have a fever? Had I caught the dreaded Typhoid fever? It was my last night in Kenya and I thought I had caught Typhoid fever. I immediately slapped my hand to my forehead to feel the excessive heat radiating out from my head. Surprisingly, my head felt cool. Well, if my head wasn’t as hot as an oven then I guess I didn’t have Typhoid. But, other parts of my body were warmer than usual or I wouldn’t have been sweating. My joints ached and I felt light headed. This sounded more like the Flu. How could I have the flu when I haven’t worn a coat the entire time I’ve been here?

My gut wretched. It felt like someone was twisting my stomach as if they were trying to ring water out of a washcloth. I clutched my middle with both arms and pulled my knees up to my chest. In that instant I knew why I was sick.

Tonight was the final night of our ten-day mission trip to Kenya. To celebrate the close of our mission, Poppa Gloria purchased a goat head to serve as the main course of our farewell dinner. Now, I have to stop and explain two things here. First I must explain to you Americans why my host had a female name. Get out your notepad. This will be on the test of African customs. Our host’s English name is Walter. But in the village where we were staying, no one calls Walter by his English name. They call him Poppa Gloria. He named his first-born child Gloria. So according to custom, you address the head of the household using “Poppa” and add the name of his first-born child. For example, my first-born child is Nathan. If I lived in this village, the folks here would call me Poppa Nathan. I guess you better think long and hard about what you name your child because you are essentially naming yourself.

Secondly, Kenyan’s consider goat the finest dish you serve to your guests. If you have invited guests to your home to celebrate a special occasion, you serve them goat. If you do not serve goat than you will offend your guest and they may tell others that you are cheap and stingy.

The mission team was invited as guest at several special events. I became quite familiar with many different goat dishes. My taste buds actually accepted goat with open arms. The texture and flavor of the meat reminded me of the lamb meat I experienced in the Middle East. Most of the time hosts would serve us goat ribs, or goat leg. But, gnawing the meat off a rib bone was a lot different than popping a chunk of boiled goat tongue into your mouth. The Kenyan’s don’t waste any part of the animals they eat. Poppa Gloria carved up the goat’s ears, cheeks, and tongue and set the meat out on a large platter. When he had finished carving, he brought the platter over and set it down right in front of me.

“Ken,” he said with a broad smile. “Go ahead and have a piece.”

I have read that you always eat what a host offers you in a foreign country so that you will not offend the gracious host. Like I said, I have already eaten tons of goat meat in the past several days so I figured eating parts of the animal I wouldn’t normally eat wouldn’t bother me. Only two days ago I had devoured grilled goat intestines in front of a group of Kenyan men watching to see if my face would contort in disgust at the taste. But that is a story for another time. My point is that over the week I have tried some pretty exotic foods and none of them have upset my innards.

Without hesitation I plucked a few chunks off of the platter and popped them into my mouth. It tasted just like all of the other pieces of meat I’ve been consuming over the last week. The texture was a bit softer than the muscle meat, but nothing that invoked my gag reflex. I thought I had passed my final exotic foods test. Then Poppa Gloria set a steaming cup of goat head soup on the table in front of me.

Oh man. This was it. The ultimate in gross-out cuisine. If we had already eaten all the meat off the skull, then there was only one edible part of the head left: Goat brain. I stared down at the cup knowing that I was not going to be able to drink the boiled remains of an animal head. Poppa Gloria stood over me smiling as if he had just served me the world’s finest chocolate. I could tell from his expression that he expected me to thoroughly enjoy this local delicacy. He would surly be disappointed if I didn’t even take a sip.

Without reserve, I grabbed the cup and lifted it to my mouth. I took a big gulp hoping that whatever my taste buds decided, they wouldn’t cause me to spit the soup out across the table and onto Poppa Gloria. The fluid filled my mouth and I pushed it down my throat. Words can’t describe the amplified signals my taste buds were sending to my brain. It was as if my taste buds were under attack by an enemy that wanted to destroy all sensations of what was pleasant and enjoyable to my mouth.

When the fluid fell into my belly, I could feel my stomach reach up and grab my brain around the brain steam and say, “If you ever send something that disgusting down here again, I will gather up all the nerves I can find in this body and squeeze them as hard as I can until you cry for mercy.”

I looked up at Poppa Gloria and said, “I’m sorry but I do not like this.”

His smile never wavered. He told me he was happy I had tried as many different parts of the goat as I had. He made me feel as if I had earned his respect in giving the soup an honest try. Thank God I hadn’t offended my host.

Later in the night my digestive tract was totally offended by my willingness to shove everything I was offered into my gullet. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet in the dark for a very long time. The next day all the muscles in my body ached. My stomach refused to accept even a simple piece of toasted bread. My brain felt as if I had caught a computer virus, which slowed down all my bodily functions. I was a wreck.

On this last day of my trip I had planned to go shopping for souvenirs and gifts for the family. The other half of the mission team left early in the morning and we didn’t have to board the plane headed for Europe until late in the evening. This was the only free day of my entire trip and I was barely able to move. I managed to function just enough to find gifts for the family. I could not come home empty handed. Then I slept until our ride came to take us to the airport.

I’m just thankful that the dreaded stomach rebellion came at the end of my trip instead of incapacitating me when I needed to perform my mission from God behind the lenses.